From Doing to Being; What My Break From Social Media Taught Me
A few months ago I started to notice that many of my clients, friends and even my husband were coping/numbing with things that are socially acceptable.
In the West over working is rewarded, even when there are red flags that this dedication is simply a version of running and numbing from inner pain.
Have a day off? Not sure what to do? Fear not, there are multiple streaming options to choose from so that you can turn off your own feelings and discomfort while binge watching the latest series on Netflix, Disney Plus, Amazon Prime etc.
At this time, the time when I was noticing how everyone else was numbing out, my drug of choice, the thing I turned to when I was scared to simply be and feel in my own body and mind, was Social Media; Facebook and Instagram specifically.
It’s funny that while I was getting frustrated that our society has glorified many numbing tactics, it took me a while to notice and admit that I was just as guilty.
Since becoming a business owner I have taken my fair share of business courses, especially those dealing with marketing. Your Social Media imprint is ‘critical’ when it comes to modern day marketing, so I was lead to believe.
Not only was I lead to believe that thou shall be on the Socials for so many hours a day, I also learned which days were the best for engagement and which types of posts would help ensure your content would pass the ever-changing, and highly complicated, algorithms.
After learning how integral Social Media is to a business owner, I drank the Kool Aid and began justifying my coping strategy as a business necessity. As cognitive humans we are very good at covering up our limiting behaviours with very convincing arguments. I should know; Cutting past the bullsh!t we tell ourselves makes up a large portion of my coaching practice.
Our outer world is always, in some way, a reflection of our inner world. When I started to notice how much I was being affected by seeing others play ignorant to their coping strategies, I took it as a challenge from the universe.
Anytime I feel as if I am being taught something, but I am not quite grasping exactly what the lesson is, I tend to seek out perspective. When we are in a situation it’s very normal to have tunnel vision. When we are stuck, we usually create more ‘stuckness’ simply because we are forgetting to see the situation from other perspectives.
When I gave myself distance, my coping strategy hit me smack dab in the face.
It’s funny because I already knew that I wanted to have a day or two off of the Socials during December, but I didn’t know exactly how that would look, so I kept putting it off. The fact that I was procrastinating taking a break because I didn’t have a perfect plan was a total red flag to me. Perfectionism is one of my oldest and most used forms of self-sabotaging behaviour.
That’s when, without a plan of how things would look, I decided to take a total break from FB and IG.
If you’re someone who doesn’t use Social Media, this all might seem a bit dramatic to you. I didn’t grow up with the Socials, but they have been a daily part of my life for over a decade. Picking up my phone and scrolling literally became a habit.
Sometimes I would pick up my phone and scroll without even realizing what I was doing. My thumb would be moving to scroll through a feed that I wasn’t even paying attention to. But remember, I was doing this all for my business… right???
My husband isn’t a Social Media guy; he’s never really understood the draw to it. Like myself, my husband was an employee for many years before deciding to start up his own company. Finally, I thought when Cory became a business owner, now he’ll see how useful the Socials are when you are in total control of all your own marketing.
Do you know how much effort Cory has put into creating his content, drafting up applicable graphics and engaging with his audience?
ZERO, zip, zilch.
Since starting his own company Cory has continued to avoid the Socials like the plague while still running a very successful business.
My courses all lead me to believe that Social Media is pivotal for Entrepreneurs, yet Cory somehow is the only exception to that rule? I doubted that!
This led me to start thinking about some of the coaches who inspire me the most. The ones who I know have the same desires and motivations as I do. Do you know what I realized when I looked into their Social Media Footprint? It was very small.
Alas, my ignorance bubble was burst wide open and I could see things as clear as we can in this impermanent, ever changing, world.
My first day away from FB and IG was interesting. It really opened my eyes to how much I actually relied on my phone when it came to filling the void. I started to get uncomfortable knowing that the next 11 days were going to hold some powerful, yet terrifying, insight.
When we take away the noise, when we don’t allow ourselves the comfort of numbing, we are faced with a couple of options. The first is to ease our suffering by replacing one coping strategy with another. Or, we can buckle up and allow ourselves the opportunity to face our discomfit with open arms.
Discomfort gets a really bad rep nowadays, which is why our society is full of acceptable coping strategies. Discomfort isn’t something we should fear. It’s not something that will automatically break us.
Like any other experience, discomfort is a neutral phenomenon until we place it into a nice little compartmentalized box of good/bad in our perception. Instead of predetermining that my discomfort wouldn’t be favourable, I decided to just let it be.
Just let it be… how simple!
Any expectations we have in life; just let it be.
During my time off of Social Media I realized many things about myself and others. Without all the distractions of being online I was able to hone in on both my creative and manifesting energies. I was able to get more accomplished earlier in my day, which allotted me the opportunity to continue with the spiritual and personal development journey I am on. But, the biggest thing I learned while away from the Socials is to just let it be.
Letting it be also includes throwing out all of the black and white rules I have learnt in the past about how and when to show up online. If you have made it this far in my blog post, props to you. Most people don’t care to spend more that 20 seconds reading anything online anymore. This is something I learned in one of my business courses. Because of that I have tried, and usually failed, to come up with quick and easy captions for my posts. I have gotten a lot of criticism that my content isn’t FB or IG friendly because I’m too wordy.
It takes a lot of time and effort to create a ‘simple’ post. It uses up even more of my energy to try to create a quick user-friendly post. Energy that I could be utilizing for what I do best, which is coaching.
Social Media, in the past, hasn’t just been a void filler for me, it’s also been a massive energy vampire, because I’ve allowed it to. But now I actually understand that in order for me to conserve my energy, while still putting out useful content, I need to just let things be.
Tomorrow I am going to return to the Socials with a more purposeful approach. I’m no longer uncomfortable with the discomfort of simply being throughout the day. I actually appreciate the feeling of simply being in my life without feeling the need to be doing at all times. Especially when that doing involves mindless scrolling on my phone. I am also excited to have planned weekly breaks from the Socials. I am optimistic to let go of the past pressures I have put on myself to fit into a marketing box that doesn’t fit the SJ shaped hole of my being.
